Missing Blue

Missing Blue

June is a month of many occasions. Many couples who chose to tie their bonds in marriage in this month celebrate their anniversary.
It’s such a happy month for many of us.I share with them their happiness not because of marriage but because on the first day of June, God blessed my parents with their third angel and that is ME! During my younger days my birthday wasn’t actually that special because we seldom prepare something for the occasion. But I’m blessed by God with a very loving husband who reminds me of this important day by singing a birthday song that awakens me in the early morning of my special day. Then the rest of the kids would join him in the singing. He also would make sure that some extra special food will be placed on the table for the family to partake.
But the end of June is a sad part for me. In June 29, 2003, God blessed us with another angel to care.I was not so comfortable of giving birth to a hospital or clinic, so I give birth to her at home. We named her Jelamehd. The name was my hubby’s personal choice. She was cute. She has an angelic face.Her little fingers and toes were delicate.
Jelamehd’s brothers and sisters fed on my milk in their infant stage so was she. Our kids are our most precious treasures. They were our golds. But there was something in Jelamehd that made her different from the other golds. To me she was gold in blue. She was special. She wasn’t like the others who were very full after a week of feeding from me and she cried a lot. We planned to bring her to a doctor but we’re financially hard at that time. Sooner as we had enough. How I wished I could do something to alleviate the condition of our angel, our blue angel.
Every time she cried, I prayed to God that He’d ease her pains. Morning, noon, and night, I earnestly appealed for God’s help.I asked for miracle on my blue angel.
She was 1 month and 25 days, we rushed her to the hospital. My blue was in bad shape according to the doctor but I had hoped God would perform miracles and made her better. I kept holding her delicate hands as I told her to hold on. I saw the other child patients being pumped to revive but later declared expired. I did not want to think of it with my blue. I was afraid. As the noon turn to dusk we heard the doctor telling us he’d do with my blue what I feared. I held my blue’s hands and prayed she’d get over it. The doctor stopped reviving her after the second try but I felt my child was still breathing and pleaded to continue.
I knew it was impossible but I refused to believe. I didn’t want to lose my girl, my blue. After the third try I cried when the doctor said we have to let go of blue. It was the most the painful acceptance I did my whole life. But who can say no to Him if He would take back so soon what He entrusted us.
Thank God for allowing us to take care of BLUE for around 11 months including the months she was yet in my womb. Today is her birthday. If she were here I would sing her Happy birthday and for sure she’d sing for me on the first of June.

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